Waiting for the World to Fall

Waiting for the World to Fall 
By Jars of Clay
I'm afraid it's been too long to try to find the reasons why
I let my world close in around a smaller patch of fading sky
But now I've grown beyond the walls to where I've never been
And it's still winter in my wonderland

Chorus
I'm waiting for the world to fall
I'm waiting for the scene to change
I'm waiting when the colors come
I'm waiting to let my world come undone

I close my eyes and try to see the world unbroken underneath
The farther off and already it just might make the life I lead
A little more than make-believe when all my skies are painted blue
And the clouds don't ever change the shape of who I am to You

Chorus
I'm waiting for the world to fall
I'm waiting for the scene to change
I'm waiting when the colors come
I'm waiting to let my world come undone

When I catch the light of falling stars my view is changing me
My view is changing me

I'm waiting

It's Your Life

It's Your Life
by Francesca Battistelli


This is the moment
It’s on the line
Which way you gonna fall?
In the middle between
Wrong and right
But you know after all

It’s your life
What you gonna do?
The world is watching you
Every day the choices you make
Say what you are and who
Your heart beats for
It’s an open door
It’s your life

Are you who you always said you would be?
With a sinking feeling in your chest
Always waiting for someone else to fix you
Tell me when did you forget

It’s your life
What you gonna do?
The world is watching you
Every day the choices you make
Say what you are and who
Your heart beats for
It’s an open door
It’s your life

To live the way that you believe
This is your opportunity
To let your life be one that lights the way

It’s your life
What you gonna do?
The world is watching you
Every day the choices you make
Say what you are and who
Your heart beats for
It’s an open door
It’s your life

Different kind of love

So I just watched "Marley & Me" and after wiping away my blubbery mess of tears, I reflected on all my pets in my past.

I've had pets all my life.  At the beginning of my life was dark tabby Hoppy the cat. He had 3 legs, and hence hopped everywhere. I used to love to hear my mom tell the story of how she and my dad found him caught in a trap in the barn. He lost one of his back legs to that trap, but it didn't slow him down, in fact, I think he moved faster without it! He was a tough kitty.  He endured me and my sister, my cousins, and the neighbor kids roughing him up and throwing him around.  He never seemed to mind, and he never bared his teeth at us or nipped at us.  He will always hold a special place in my heart. :*}


Then there was Penny the Siamese kitty.  She was a stray that happened to find her way to our house.  She was very pleasant and oh so pretty too.  She had a batch of twin grey kittens not long after.  She stayed around for years, then she just wasn't there anymore. 


Lacy the big fluffy white dog.  She was a gift from my daddy when I was 10 and broke my arm at school.  He got her for me to make me feel better.  I remember holding onto her so tight and she seemed like a big fuzzy pillow. You could get lost in her fur.  She was also very ADHD.  If we left for very long, she found things to chew up.  She chewed up a couple of blankets. She'd pull the clothes off the clothesline.  The last straw for my parents was when she chewed up my little sister's new ball glove.  My dad found a new home for her with some friends of ours where she could have a huge fenced in back yard to run off that energy.  


When my cousin's Calico cat had kittens I got to pick one out for myself.  There were two little boy kittens that were near identical, except one was light grey and white and the other was dark grey and white.  I took the light grey/white one and name him Boston.  My cousin kept the darker twin and named him Denver. :)  He was a great cat.  It was like he was a reincarnate of Hoppy (only with all his legs).  He was very mild-mannered, great with all children; always just "there".  When I was 12 we moved about 5 miles down across to another county, and brought him with us.  We kept him in our basement so he could get used to the new environment. The indoors threw him off a bit, as he was an outdoors feline.  This only lasted a couple of weeks before he got restless and crawled out of a basement window.  We never did find him.  My Papu even joined in on the search, but still no Boston to be found.  Many months, even a year later (I can't quite recall which), someone said they had seen a cat that looked identical to Boston at our old house.  We think he must have gotten "homesick" and found his way back.  I have heard that that happens sometimes.  


As a way to ease my sadness with "losing" Boston, some friends of ours, the Dippers, offered first pick out of their newest batch of kittens.  One evening my dad took me over to look at them.  Elvis was the name of the daddy of the litter.  Kind of humourous, really. ;)  I found one, a cute little black and white female kitten.  I didn't name her right away...you have to be sure about these sort of things.  So we took her home and let her become accustomed to her new home.  She immediately took up and hid behind the sofa. She was there for hours.  Never coming out or making a sound.  We tried coaxing her out with food, but that failed.  Eventually this went on and on.  We finally had to pull the sofa out to get to her. LOL!  My dad made a comment "Boy, she's a little nuisance!"  And that's how she got her name.  She was quite a Nuisance, too!  This became more clearer as she got older.  She was also a rather "easy" she-cat. Yes, that's right. Every time we turned around she was pregnant.  Sure, we could have gotten her fixed, but when you live on a farm, that's one of the last things you think to do to your animals.  So she was like the Energizer Bunny of cats...She kept going and going and going.  But she was a good cat for the most part. Sure she had her weaknesses, like getting outside a lot (which led to her "scarlet letter").  Her last litter was actually born on my birthday one year.  It was one lone brown tabby kitten, whom we named Squirrel, because he was so small, like a baby squirrel, and he later lived up to that name, as he was quite squirrelly! Hilariously so! About a year later, Nuisance got outside and never came back home.  She was 10 years old at this point.  We decided she knew she was going to die, so she went off to do it alone.  It was a sad sad day. Mainly because I knew that I hadn't been paying much attention to her for a long time, and that I regretted deeply.  :*{  
I tried to replace Nuisance.  You can't replace a pet though.  Nothing can ever live up to the pedestal that you placed that one amazing pet on.  

So her son Squirrel remained a permanent fixture in our household.  He was a great cat.  So smart.  And he knew if something was wrong, he could sense this.  He was good with kids, albeit a bit feisty. lol. 
We didn't get to many years with Squirrel however.  About four years later, he developed a stomach problem. He couldn't keep his food down, and was always getting sick.  We got angry at him when this happened, before we realized what it was, and that it was fatal.  We could have taken him to a vet, but growing up on a farm, you don't take your cats to vets.  It's just the cycle of life.  They're born, you have fun with them, love them, play with them, and then they pass on.  Squirrel was probably the one that hurt the most of all the pets I lost.  At this point I was 25, and well past the point of childhood.  However, it was also an end of an era. He was the last litter that dear Nuisance ever bore.  I remember that night so clear.  He was laying on a towel on the deep freeze, labored breathing.  We all went out to say our goodbyes to him. Even my mom...who didn't get attached to any of our pets.  I cried over him.  I begged him not to die.  I know it sounds silly.  But he was our Squirrel.  He was still a "baby" in my eyes.  He shared my birthday.  My mom was the last one to say goodbye to him. We think he was waiting for her, a way to be released to pass away.  It was a very emotional night for all of my family.  


I haven't had a pet since then.  


I came to a sad conclusion tonight after watching "Marley & Me": I don't know if I could ever have a pet again.  Getting another pet means opening myself up to love something that will leave someday, whether willingly or not.  I don't know if I can do that again.  I don't know if I can allow myself to "love" that way again.  

How He Loves...

How He Loves
Performed by David Crowder Band

He is jealous for me,
Loves like a hurricane, I am a tree,
Bending beneath the weight of his wind and mercy.
When all of a sudden,
I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory,
And I realize just how beautiful You are,
And how great Your affections are for me.

And oh, how He loves us so,
Oh how He loves us,
How He loves us all

He loves us,
Oh how He loves us,
Oh how He loves us,
Oh how He loves.
Yeah, He loves us,
Oh how He loves us,
Oh how He loves us,
Oh how He loves.

And we are His portion and He is our prize,
Drawn to redemption by the grace in His eyes,
If his grace is an ocean, we’re all sinking.
And heaven meets earth like an unforeseen kiss,
And my heart turns violently inside of my chest,
I don’t have time to maintain these regrets,
When I think about, the way…

He loves us,
Oh how He loves us,
Oh how He loves us,
Oh how He loves.
Yeah, He loves us,
Oh how He loves us,
Oh how He loves us,
Oh how He loves.

Beautiful, Scandalous Night

Beautiful, Scandalous Night
by Robbie Seay Band


Go on up to the mountain of mercy
To the crimson perpetual tide
Kneel down on the shore
Be thirsty no more
Go under and be purified
Follow Christ to the holy mountain
Sinner sorry and wrecked by the fall
Cleanse your heart and your soul
In the fountain that flows
For you and for me and for all

At the wonderful, tragic, mysterious tree
On that beautiful, scandalous night you and me
Were atoned by His blood and forever washed white
On that beautiful, scandalous night

On the hillside, you will be delivered
At the foot of the cross justified
And your spirit restored
By the river that pours
From our blessed Savior's side 

At the wonderful, tragic, mysterious tree
On that beautiful, scandalous night you and me
Were atoned by His blood and forever washed white
On that beautiful, scandalous night

Firethrowers and Cowboys

So after ending a week with my random ADD, I started the weekend by going to the downtown Art Walk with Nancy and Roberto.  It was a nice, chilly evening...very pleasant.  It did take us about 10 minutes to find a parking spot though.  A little piece of advice, if many cars are driving down from the car parks, that's probably a good sign not to drive up them.  We drove up them, expecting someone to be leaving from a movie to grab a space.  All we achieved was to get to the very top only to have to find a teeny spot to turn around in and drive back down. It was kind of funny afterward though.

So we headed to Randy Bacon's Studio first; it's always the highlight of the evening. If you don't happen to catch any new art or photography, then there's sure to be a friendly face there you haven't seen in a while.  In this case, there was new art though.  There was this really cool exhibit by Africa artist Ibiyinka Alao. His work was very abstract and bright and filled with life, but you could still see the hardships he's endured.

When we left there we journeyed toward the square and came across a whole new world.  In the middle of the square were dredlocked firedancers flowing to the beat of bongos and drums.  It was quite fascinating!!

And then out of no where came the Superheroes. Yes, that's right...Superheroes.  There was Jewish Man (he had the Star of David emblazoned on his chest so that's what I dubbed him). Then there was Underwear Man (again...stating the obvious...he had tighty whities on the outside of his khakis)! And Towel Man (he had a towel tied around his neck for his cape).  And Lucky Charms even made an appearance...Mr Leprechaun complete with cane and top hat.  Oh I failed to mention...that earlier we had seen a gang of Zombies strolling down Walnut St heading to the Theatre.  At least I assumed they were. Maybe they were going to dine. ;)  So back to the Superheroes.  Off to the side of the square is this little gazebo-like area where Mr Mime was Hammertiming it. So like any below average superhero...this calls for a DANCE OFF!  Words cannot describe what followed.  8-}

Following the Dance Off we decided to head further into the masses.  We passed the "Legalize Marijuana" table where they were having a "Bake Sale" with some "yummy brownies" (We didn't try any, btw).  We continued on our trek and came to a huge crowd gathered in the middle of South Ave. Low and behold there was a catwalk set up, and a Fashion Show was in full force! As we made it to the corner, on one was the "Free Hugs" Street Evangelists...on the opposite corner, the "You're going to Hell if you even say the word Divorce, let alone think about it or heaven-forbid marry a divorcee" group.  I'll let you figure out who got the most interest. ;)

Deciding to call it an evening, we headed to Rendezvous for some coffee *mmm!*, all the while discussing why we even visited Seattle when we have such "culture" in our own Downtown. ;)

So being the old single people we are, we called it a night at 9:30pm.  I was in bed by 10:30pm. 

Saturday morning broke bright and clear suggesting a day filled with sunshine and smiles. (Oh that sounds so corny!) LOL!

I drove out to TownofHall to my sister, bro-in-law, and niece's house for we had plans to go to Pumpkin Daze in Republic and then to Farm Fest at the fairgrounds.  Pumpkin Daze is developing small town festival that focuses around, of course pumpkins, and all things fall and crafty.  However it could do with some reorganization, as Main street was jam packed full of people making it difficult to even get to the limited amount of craft booths on the edges.  We made it all the way through and decided it wasn't worth fighting the crowd, and decided to cut out and head on to Farm Fest. 

Farm Fest...wow. Where do I start.  I grew up on a farm.  By my roots, I'm a farmgirl.  However, I have since lost interest in being on a farm.  It's smelly, and dirty and I like high speed internet. I used to be all out country-fied, roper-wearing, Garth Brooks-fanning, farm girl.  Yeah......scaryyyyyy!  I've since shed the western wear and country music and country accent.  Although, I do have to admit to owning a pair of pink boots. And I occasionally listen to Rascal Flats. 

Anyway, back to Farm Fest. So I've never seen so many Stetsons and Wranglers and Justins in one place!! So we headed to the E-Plex where all the main booths were.  Most of them were unappealing to me, but I did find the PFI booth interesting. It had me wanting to get another pair of boots, not pink this time. ;)  I was the designated Stroller driver for my 15mo old niece and our goal for the day was to find a pink John Deere hat for her.  She's a little shop-aholic already.  Daddy put a cute little cowboy hat on her, and although it didn't fit, she wanted it so much she started bawling.  You don't tease a girl at any age, whether intentional or not, about clothing or apparel. After going through the E-Plex and catching most of the booths and a couple of brochures, we headed out to look for some John Deere tents, still in search for the Pink Hat.  Along the way we found a cute little green John Deere t-shirt. Finally we found "THE TENT" that had the John Deere GOODS!  This one had the Pink hat.  So my sister and bro-in-law got that along with some Christmas presents for my niece.  We positioned that cute little hat on her blonde locks and we set off again for the men to see the machines.  By this time all the girls were getting tired and some a little cranky and needing naps.  So we had to go to one last area...the animals.  One word... EWW.  This is reason number 1 why I don't live on a farm anymore. We finally were down in the middle of the stalls and the filthy animals and I really thought I was either going to pass out or barf.  Either way, I was completely out of place and out of my element.  LOL!  So as much as I wanted to get out of there and into fresh air, it was kind of cute to see my niece so enthralled by the animals, especially the baby ones.  We saw some adorable puppies, and I have to admit, if I had a wad of hundreds on me, I probably would have gone home with one. ;)  I think the little baby that was the most impressive was the newborn calf that was bopping and hopping and galloping his happy self around a 6x6 cage containing his momma and another cow.  Hilarious!! I wish I'd had a video camera on me at the time, because it was quite a show. 

We finally determined that we were all tired, the one needing the nap the most being my niece Brooklynn, so we started to the vehicle.  Somewhere along the trek up, we saw that the Pink John Deere hat was no where to be found. Brooklynn go upset at one one and threw it off her head, and none of us noticed!!  Daddy was ticked - not at Brooklynn, but just the fact that we'd searched long and hard for a pink hat, and now it was lost and we didn't know where. So being the Daddy he is, having his little girl wrapped around his finger, he went back to the John Deere tent and purchased another Pink hat.  This time it was tucked securely in the shopping bag under the stroller. 

I dedicate this to my Husband...

"Haven't Met You Yet"
by Michael Buble


I'm Not Surprised
Not Everything Lasts.
I've Broken My Heart So Many Times
I Stopped Keeping Track.
I Talk Myself In
I Talk Myself Out
I Get All Worked Up Then I Let Myself Down.


I Tried So Very Hard Not To Loose It,
I Came Up With A Million Excuses,
I thought I thought of Every Possibility.


And I know someday That It’ll All Turn Out
You’ll Make Me Work So We Can Work To Work It Out
And I Promise You Kid That I’ll Give So Much More Than I Get
I Just Haven't Met You Yet


Mmmm


I Might Have To Wait
I’ll Never Give Up
I Guess It's Half Timing
And The Other's Half’s Luck
Wherever You Are
Whenever It's Right
You’ll Come Out Of Nowhere And Into My Life


And I Know That We Can Be So Amazing
And Baby Your Love Is Gonna Change Me
And Now I Can See Every Possibility


Mmmm


And I know Someday That it’ll all Turn Out
You’ll Make Me Work So We Can Work To Work It Out
And I Promise You Kid I’ll Give So Much More Than I Get
I Just Haven't Met You Yet


They Say All’s Fair
In Love And War
But I Won't Need To Fight It
We’ll Get It Right
We’ll Be United


And I Know That We Can Be So Amazing
And Being In Your Life Is Gonna Change Me
And Now I Can See Every Single Possibility


Mmmm


And Someday I Know It’ll All Turn Out
And I’ll Work To Work It Out
Promise You Kid I’ll Give More Than I Get
Than I Get
Than I Get
Than I Get


Oh You Know That Will All Turn Out
And You’ll Make Me Work So We Can Work To Work It Out
And I Promise You Kid To Give So Much More Than I Get
Yeah I Just Haven't Met You Yet


I Just Haven't Met You Yet
Oh Promise You Kid
To Give So Much More Than I Get


I Said Love Love Love Love Love Love Love .....
I Just Haven't Met You Yet
Love Love Love .....
I Just Haven't Met You Yet